


Laslow's birthday

by SANS_TITRE



Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Absurd, Fun, Laslow is fragile okay, M/M, Weird, be good to him, light-hearted violence, sassy Catria, stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 20:32:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SANS_TITRE/pseuds/SANS_TITRE
Summary: Takumi has a surprise for his boyfriend ~





	Laslow's birthday

**LASLOW'S BIRTHDAY**

 

LASLOW : Where are we?

TAKUMI : It's a surprise! Don't look!

LASLOW : All right, all right... not that I could see much with that blindfold on anyway.

TAKUMI : All right, wait here, I'll be back in a sec'!

LASLOW : Uh... sure...

_(Five minutes later. Laslow is still blindfolded, and standing awkwardly in the middle of a hallway. Sharena and Alfonse arrive.)_

SHARENA : Oh, hi there! Is that some sort of a game?

ALFONSE : Games? I hate games.

LASLOW : Are you guys talking to me?

SHARENA : Man, I wish I were playing a game right now.

ALFONSE : What kind of game?

SHARENA : Oh, nothing too violent!

ALFONSE : ... suspicious.

LASLOW : Can any of you hear me?

SHARENA : Yes, we can!

ALFONSE : We just don't care.

LASLOW : Ah! Oh, all right, that's... all right, I guess...  _(he starts crying)_

SHARENA : Anyway, if you want to play, there's this cool game that I invented! So I got a knife in hand, right, you follow?

ALFONSE : Someone is coming.

SHARENA : Can you picture the knife? It's about... the size of your sword, yeah.

ALFONSE : It's Chrom! No wait, it's Tiki. My bad.

LASLOW :  _(still crying)_ It's a mistake lots of people make.

SHARENA : I think it's more of a dagger than a knife, really.

TIKI : This man is crying from under the blindfold! It's such pretty tears! Has anyone got a bottle?

ALFONSE : You could use my banana.

SHARENA : I think there's blood on the dagger. Just a bit near the handle.

CATRIA : With enough tears, we can build a pool.

LASLOW : Since when are you here? 

CATRIA : I've aways been here.

TIKI : True, she has!

ALFONSE : Yes, obviously she has.

SHARENA : Maybe there's blood on the blade too, now that I think about it.

LASLOW : ... what is she talking about?

CATRIA : I'm talking about pools, dummy.

ZELGIUS : Moron.

LASLOW : Wait, where did _you_ come from?

ZELGIUS : I was eating an apple, it turned blue and now I'm here.

TIKI : That's so cool!

ZELGIUS : Thanks Hardin. I mean... thanks Tiki.

LASLOW : Man, another mistake that everyone makes.

SHARENA : It might be more of a gigantic sword really.

LASLOW : I wonder where Takumi went.

_(Niles arrives at this moment, riding Merric.)_

NILES : Hello there!

MERRIC : Ugh... so tired... 

NILES : You're doing amazing sweetie.

TIKI : Hey guys!

MERRIC : Hi Tiki!

TIKI :  _(She takes of a mask. Merric is shocked to discover the face of... another Tiki)_ People never get my name right.

MERRIC : But I just did!

CATRIA : I thought it was going to be Lucina again.

SHARENA : No, I ate Lucina.

LASLOW : WHAT.

ALFONSE : Was she tasty?

SHARENA : Too salty.

LASLOW : ( _terrified)_ Why... why would you do that?

ZELGIUS : She was hungry. Duh.

LASLOW : WILL YOU SHUT UP ZELGIUS? I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU REPRESENT! YOU'RE THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD!

_(He steals Sharena's knife, cuts the blindfold and throws is on the floor. But instead of Zelgius, Takumi is the one he sees. The boy is crying.)_

TAKUMI : I... I just wanted to show you that I could do some pretty good impressions... I thought you would be impressed... I didn't think it would make you sad... I'm so sorry, I... I ruined your birthday!

_(Laslow starts crying again. He jumps in Takumi's arms. The two boys hug.)_

LASLOW : I'm so sorry, your impressions are amazing! You really got me there!

TIKI :  _(holding a pot under the boy's faces)_ Those are some good tears.

CATRIA : Still not enough to make a pool.

SHARENA : Hey, but maybe if I pierce your body with my brother's sword, we can gather enough liquid to make it?

ALFONSE : Sister, don't you think it's time for a nap?

NILES : I know a great place for naps!

MERRIC : Yes, follow his advice. If you love bees.

NILES : Hey! Don't ruin my jokes!

MERRIC : Did someone speak? I didn't hear anything.

_(Merric looks at Takumi and Laslow who are still cuddling. He looks a bit sad.)_

CATRIA : Are you jealous?

MERRIC : Yes.

LASLOW : How come you guys are still there?

CATRIA : Oh right, that reminds me. We have a surprise for your birthday.

LASLOW : ... what kind of surprise?

CATRIA : It's Merric.

NILES : Best horse in the market.

TIKI : Also works as a table when you're done with the fights!

LASLOW : ...

TAKUMI : I mean, he's pretty. Maybe we could hang him in the ceiling.

NILES : Above your bed?

TAKUMI : Great idea!

MERRIC : Wake me up inside...

LASLOW : Hey, that's a... lovely gift! Thanks... to each and everyone of you! Haha... ha... why are my feet wet.

TIKI : It's the pool!

ALFONSE : Made from your tears.

CATRIA : And my blood. I'm dying. But it was still a great idea. I love it.

_(She dies)_

TAKUMI : Let's go swim!

NILES : 'you allright Merric boy? Not drowning?

MERRIC : Not yet.

LASLOW : Oh, by the way Sharena... you never told us how the game goes. I've got your knife, what do I do with it?

SHARENA : A game? What game? I hate games.

MERRIC : Liar.

NILES : Liar.

ALFONSE : Liar.

DEAD CATRIA : Liar.

TAKUMI : Nope, I'm pretty sure she's telling the truth, there.

_(The water level rises. Laslow jumps right in. Underneath is a nice spot for a nap. It is a beautiful garden with a multitude of flowers)_

LASLOW : This is pretty.

MERRIC : I know.

LASLOW : Why is it just the two of us?

MERRIC : Because we were destined to destroy the stone of destruction hidden in that house.  _(points finger at a house)_

LASLOW :  _(destroys it)_ All right, let's eat cake.

MERRIC : I love cake. Let's go to the kitchen!

_(They don't move. A bouquet falls on Merric's face.)_

 

**The end**


End file.
